i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
