So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
