Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
