3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
