What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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