This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
