I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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