He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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