Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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