It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
