He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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