Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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