we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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