how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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