mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize