god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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