My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize