somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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