I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
worst night to have a conscience
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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