My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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