He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
