There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
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Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
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I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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