i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
