Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
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Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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