I was born with a shot glass in my hand
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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