i'm signing you up for texting rehab
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize