so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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