Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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