My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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