Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
