I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
3pm strippers are depressing
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
