Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
