Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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