and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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