its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
