Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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