i love accidental penises.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
