In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
