i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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