There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
