2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize