I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.