Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0