Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.