One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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