Sponge bath it is.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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