it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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