i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
