Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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