If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
