I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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