I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize