What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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