Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
high people should be assigned attendants
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wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
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Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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