if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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