I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Of course I have a pirate flag
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
