that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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