covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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