You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
